There's no excuse for making assumptions about a celebrity's body

There's no excuse for making assumptions about a celebrity's body

Selena Gomez has long been open about her body image, whether she's refusing to suck in her stomach in a swimsuit or shutting down body-shamers on social media with humor and bluntness. Now she's making headlines for her response to a TikTok video about her weight, suggesting it was influenced by dating Justin Bieber.

The clip features old photos of Gomez with text that reads, "The reason Selena is always skinny when she dates Justin." It also includes a screenshot of what appears to be an old Instagram comment from Gomez that appears to say that Bieber prefers models. Gomez responded on TikTok with a single frowning emoji in the comments section of the clip.

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Gomez didn't clarify what she meant by the frowning emoji, but that didn't stop thousands of comments from people speculate about the situation. But the main problem people should be talking about is the problem with the video's existence in the first place. Unfounded claims are made about Gomez's body, weight and appearance, which is potentially harmful not only to Gomez, but also to others who see the clip. And the Only Murders in the Building star's recent experience is just one example of this type of speculative behavior affecting people's body image.

Social media is a breeding ground for comments about celebrities' bodies, even though a person's appearance is no one's business but their own. The examples are seemingly endless, including speculation about celebrities using diabetes drugs for rapid weight loss and Online chatter about Chadwick Boseman's changing appearance as he privately battled colon cancer in the last four years of his life. Christina Applegate even felt the need to make an explanation about why she looks different in the final season of Netflix's Dead to Me amid her multiple sclerosis diagnosis. And Jonah Hill flat out asked people not to comment on his body at all.

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Why people comment on celebrity bodies

“Society is full of anti-fat bias and diet culture, and there are many people who struggle with eating disorders and body image issues,” explains Jennifer Rollin, MSW, LCSW-C., therapist and founder of The Eating Disorder Center in Rockville, MD. "I think people focus on celebrities' weight and body fluctuations as a reflection of their own issues and prejudices they may be struggling with. Unfortunately, celebrities can be 'easy targets' because they are in the public eye and are often held to absurd beauty standards."

Since you don't know them personally, it's easy "Talking about celebrities as if they weren't people but objects," says Brandi Stalzer LIMHP, LMHC, LPCC, licensed counselor and owner of Stalzer Counseling & Consulting. Relentless media narratives mean that celebrities are also "constantly under the microscope, particularly when it comes to physical appearance," adds Becka Ross, LCSW, chief clinical officer of Crisis Text Line.

It might feel so normal that you don't even realize you're doing it, notes Sloane Chmara, a holistic wellness coach. "[People] have a natural tendency to speculate about all bodies [they] see, whether [they're] owning the body of a friend, a celebrity or [their]," she says. “Some people judge to make themselves feel better,” she adds. For example, if you feel like someone is "worse off" than you, it can boost your ego and make you feel better, explains Chmara.

The problem with assumptions about celebrities

Assumptions about the cause of weight fluctuation or weight in general are often primarily rooted in fatphobia. “Weight speculation places emphasis on a particular size [i.e., a pervasive and harmful thin ideal] over other sizes,” says Stalzer.

However, the body changes throughout a person's life and for many reasons, including hormonal changes, mental health, physical health, medication changes and age, she adds. Still, many people are taught from an early age to “perceive bodies and associate weight with dignity, beauty and health,” Chmara adds.

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Even a seemingly innocuous comment about a famous person's body can have an impact on others who read it, Rollin says. For example, reading criticism about a thin celebrity's weight gain could be detrimental to the mental health of a person with a larger body.

“Celebrities are people with feelings and their own private struggles,” she explains. "It's unfair that they often face so much public scrutiny as their bodies change. Just because they've chosen to be in the public eye doesn't mean they deserve to receive body comments and constant shaming."

How to set boundaries IRL and online

According to all four pros, setting limits on body talk both in person and online can help. For example, to deal with an awkward or inappropriate situation IRL, you might do your best to end a conversation, change the subject, or walk away. This is true whether the conversation is about a celebrity or something else.

“When setting boundaries, it is important to avoid judging or criticizing anyone,” says Chmara. “Adding fuel to the fire doesn’t help and is unkind.”

If online body shaming bothers you, Ross has some helpful tips. You can turn to “positive coping skills that are unique to you,” she recommends. “Sometimes you spend time with friends or a pet, meditate, talk to a therapist, journal, or take breaks from social media.” (Psst: Selena Gomez sets social media boundaries, too.)

Also, try not to bottle up emotions, suggests Ross. “Talk to friends and family about how you’re feeling,” she says. "Although it can be difficult, try not to compare yourself to others and remember to stay away from social media if it feels overwhelming."

At the end of the day, "It's not right to comment on someone's weight or body fluctuations and [it] can be very damaging to someone's mental health - celebrity or not," says Rollin.