Calum von Moger and tears for the brotherhood

On the afternoon of May 6, 31-year-old Australian bodybuilder and actor Calum von Moger, best known for his role as Arnold Schwarzenegger, performed the filmBigger,jumped through a second-story window in a failed suicide attempt. The resulting injury to his spine required surgery and several days in a medically induced coma to stabilize the repair.

Although he is currently out of the hospital and recovering, this was just the latest in a series of personal tragedies to strike one of them the brightest stars of bodybuilding.

I admit, I don't know Calum von Moger personally. Like most of you, I only know his public persona, mostly through social media and his acting roles. So I'm not going to muddle through his personal affairs to try to invent a chain of events that would explain why a man who, from the outside, seemed to have it all, might be in such a headspace that he chose to throw himself out of a second story window.

The question that needs to be asked is: What could cause such severe emotional pain that the only relief is death? That's the job of a mental health professional to determine, and I'm not one of them. What I'm saying is that unless you've been living under a rock for the last quarter century, mental illness has become a topical topic of conversation for a variety of social problems and public tragedies. It seems that as society progresses, so does the need for it address mental illnesses. I think this is a very relevant topic in bodybuilding (by bodybuilding I mean everything: open, classic, 212, men, women, figure, physique, wellness and everything related to weights, food, drugs and so on) because we could be predisposed to it for various reasons.

This is probably where I get accused of rushing to judgement. How do I know Calum is mentally ill and his intention was suicide? Some may even go so far as to point out that jumping from a second story window is more of a cry for help; For an actual death to occur in such a scenario, you would need a few more floors. There may be some truth to that, but it's splitting hairs. Nobody jumps out a window because their goldfish died. Something is wrong, and Calum is just a manifestation of it.

Bodybuilding is all-consuming, and a brilliantly dramatic spectacle in its presentation. The industry that surrounds it and the actors within it are no strangers to the drama we produce. However, dealing with the drama behind the scenes can be difficult. Most of us learn to keep up with it. But every now and then we get thrown a curve ball that makes Jacob deGrom blush. I think Calum von Moger's plight is one of them.

To the outside world, we all see Calum von Moger as one of the superstars of our industry. Tall, handsome and built, with all his accolades: three-time Mr. Universe, acting roles, modeling contracts, magazine covers, endorsement deals and a solid social media following.He even played Arnold freak’n Schwarzenegger!

So what on earth is wrong here? I'm not going to play mental health expert. However, I doubt any of us would argue that people of sound mind and judgment don't throw themselves out of windows. These types of incidents occur when someone is depressed, anxious, bipolar, drug addicted, conflicted... you get the idea. However you want to slice it, it is caused by some form of mental illness. The question is, do bodybuilders typically exhibit behavior that some of us might consider mentally ill?

A narcissistic collapse?

To say that bodybuilders are self-centered or even narcissistic is an understatement. It is common to encounter bodybuilders who are self-centered, arrogant, inconsiderate, aloof, attention-seeking, overconfident, manipulative, and demanding. These characteristics fit the description of what clinicians call narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). This isn't a diagnosis, but I've been around long enough to say that if Ovid were writing the story of Echo and Narcissus today, he would make the reflecting pool a mirror and the protagonists bodybuilders (Nemesis would be social media).

These days, especially with the help of social media, bodybuilders can easily be labeled as such. In fact, someone recently told me that if you want to find a good narcissist, you should look for a bodybuilder. I wouldn't put that label on all my brothers, but you know as well as I do that some of them deserve it. Especially when it comes to things like this typical bodybuilder characteristics such as the need for attention and admiration, hate to lose, dysfunctional relationships, lack of empathy, pathological self-absorption, vanity, selfishness, self-admiration, etc.

Suffice it to say, this is a complex area, and I'm certainly not calling Calum a narcissist (nor am I qualified to do so). I will say, however, that a psychologist told me about a “narcissistic breakdown.” This is when someone with NPD can no longer maintain their image and, as a result, feels angry, leading to intense lashing out, impulsive behavior, or hurting themselves and/or others. This could be relevant for us.

For bodybuilders, when you consider the descriptive NPD traits, along with what might have led them to put all that armor on their bodies in the first place, then add in something like contest prep, a film role, a modeling job that requires an all-consuming regiment of training, dieting, food prep, tanning, cardio, and the associated stress that it all causes, on top of having to make a living, and it's not uncommon for this to happen can cause someone to withdraw and become isolated. Which leads to loneliness. Which can lead to depression. Then add a lot of personal tragedy into the mix, and it wouldn't be surprising that the door opens wide for drugs. It creates an all-too-familiar vortex.

This is particularly relevant to bodybuilding as many of us hold on to a drug-taking mentality. Whether you like it or not, Drugs are common in bodybuilding, especially at the elite level. I am referring to both performance-enhancing and recreational drugs. Pretty much, if you're on drugs, you're on drugs. It's difficult to rationalize performance versus recovery, especially given the inevitable overlap.

Now add in the typical mood-altering hormonal reactions of both certain performance-enhancing drugs (especially steroids) and discontinuation of these medications. This only increases the temperature and contributes to suffering. (For those unfamiliar with hormonal effects on mood, going on and off steroids caused huge fluctuations in testosterone, which can lead to severe mood swings).

Finally, when through all this suffering, sacrifice, dedication, focus, energy, time and money, the outcome of the competition, contract, photo shoot, social media following, whatever, is disappointment or failure, one can quite easily find oneself on the edge, enduring some level of emotional pain.

Then they look back and see the wreckage that this persecution has caused. Relationships ended, jobs lost, injuries crop up, savings spent, family ties strained - everyone has their problems. The strength of your spirit and your mental fitness will determine what you do about it.

Luckily, most of us have the emotional capacity to pull ourselves up and move on. Unfortunately, some of us can't do that. The pain is too great, the loss is too great, the medication is too strong, the suffering has caused too much damage, the fear is too great, the pain is too unbearable. Suddenly the end looks better than moving on.

I am in no way suggesting that this was the sequence that caused Calum to do what he did. However, thanks to social media, we know enough about him and what he does to look at his situation and at least consider the importance of mental health. The path Calum von Moger chose ultimately proved terrible. By the grace of the higher power you attribute, he has been given another chance. I sincerely hope that Calum's suffering will not be in vain; not just for him, but for all of us.

The bottom line is that especially in our world, we need to take care of the people around us. Pay attention to what they do – or don’t do. If someone you know is going through an incredible bout of personal tragedy, like Calum von Moger, and is becoming depressed, withdrawing from social life, showing signs of self-loathing, becoming overly obsessed with their social media, or being threatened in any way, devalued, self-deprecating, radically impulsive, and taking lots of drugs, then you might want to gather friends around you and talk about what's going on. Suggest counseling, offer to take them, make sure they don't spend too much time alone... there are a lot of resources and international hotlines available at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

You have to get involved. It's not enough to simply love them.

As great and invincible as some of us may seem on the outside, we all bleed, we are all human. I don't think it's too far fetched to think that Calum von Moger was affected by some form of mental illness/trauma and it almost killed him - this time. I hope those around him can huddle together and find a way to protect him and get him help. At the end of the day we have to take care of each other. Nobody else will. It may be uncomfortable, but try to remember how Joe Weider always said, “We are all brothers.”