Emily in Paris had everyone talking about Trauma Bangs - is that really a thing?

Emily in Paris had everyone talking about Trauma Bangs - is that really a thing?

If you've watched the third season of Emily in Paris, you're already familiar with the title character's big hair moment in the first episode. Quick Summary: While Emily Cooper, played by Lily Collins, is dealing with a particularly stressful time in her work life, she takes matters (scissors) into her own hands and gives herself some bangs. She and her friends, namely Ashley Park's Mindy, cheekily refer to her "trauma bangs" during the final season of the hit Netflix show.

The concept of a “trauma haircut” – that is, a drastic hair change during or after times of distress – is fairly common. In fact, Collins and Park recently discussed their own "trauma haircuts" in a recent interview with The New York Times. And Collins joked about her "trauma bangs" in the caption of an Instagram post from her hairstylist giving her bangs IRL. With all the talk about "trauma hair," you may be wondering why so many people are drawn to changing their appearance in chaotic times, and whether or not it's appropriate to confuse bangs with a trauma response.

"People often change their hair after a major life change—say, a breakup or other loss—as a way to symbolize a new beginning," explains Talia Bombola, LMFT, a licensed psychotherapist in Newport Beach, California. "It can be a powerful way to express the desire for a new beginning and to leave the past behind. For some, it can be a way to mark a change in identity and a chance to make a new statement about who they are. Changing your hair can be a way to take control of the situation and create a sense of empowerment."

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There are several reasons why someone might try to change their appearance after experiencing a stressful event. The change could represent “an opportunity to express their feelings, seek comfort, or change their attitude,” Bombola says. "It can help them feel more in control and give them a sense of security. For some, this change in appearance can be a way to 'hide' from the world or the stressful event itself," she continues. "It can also be a way to signal to others that they need help or support. Whatever the reason, changing appearance after a stressor is a natural and common reaction, and it's important to remember that everyone deals with stress in different ways."

While it can be a completely normal way to cope with a big life change, Bombola points out that a bangs trim doesn't exactly count as a trauma response. In fact, the reserved use of the term “trauma pony” minimizes the physical and emotional turmoil experienced by survivors of trauma experiences. “A trauma response is the way a person reacts to a traumatic event or experience,” says Bombola. "It can range from feelings of sadness and fear to physical reactions such as increased heart rate and difficulty sleeping. Everyone reacts to trauma differently, and often it can take time to process and heal from what has happened."

ICYDK, there is a clear difference between stress and trauma. “Everyday stress can be different for everyone, but generally it is a feeling of being overwhelmed and anxious by the demands of everyday life,” says Bombola. "Common causes of daily stress can include work, family, relationships, finances, and other responsibilities. Not everyone who experiences stress has experienced a traumatic incident."

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In contrast, trauma is the "persistent emotional reaction that often results from experiencing a stressful event," such as an accident, crime, or natural disaster, explains Bombola. “Experiencing a traumatic event can impact a person’s sense of security, self-confidence, and ability to regulate emotions and navigate relationships,” she continues, adding that traumatic experiences can cause shock, denial, and daily stress.

Downplaying a person's real trauma can minimize or demean their experiences, so Bombola recommends using terms like "identity change haircut" or "breakup bang" to avoid being insensitive. That said, if you're looking to update your look to make sense of something stressful in your life à la Emily Cooper, Bombola gives you the green light — provided you also rely on additional coping mechanisms in your mental health toolbox, like talking to a counselor.

“As long as [a haricut] isn’t used as a substitute for actual mental health treatment, I don’t see a problem with following in Emily’s footsteps,” Bombola says in brighter spirits. It can also be a great opportunity for self-care, as caring for your hair and styling it can be a great way to relax and pamper yourself.”

But be warned: If a haircut "creates a sense of control, it may be fleeting or false," Bombola points out. “Nothing is a substitute for the right therapy.” (Need Financially Friendly Resources? How to Find Affordable Therapy When You're Broke.)