Malin Akerman opens up about the challenges of her mother's depression

Malin Akerman opens up about the challenges of her mother's depression

Malin Akerman is known for her roles in 27 Dresses, The Heartbreak Kid and Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle - but before she became an actress, Akerman had another plan.

“[Children’s mental health] has been a long-standing passion of mine,” Akerman tells Shape. “I actually studied psychology at university to become a child psychologist and that never paid off, but here we are,” says the actress. She recently worked with On Our Sleeves, a nonprofit focused on providing tools and resources to destigmatize discussions about children's mental health. “I feel like this has always been a big issue and now more than ever,” she adds.

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Akerman knows firsthand how important it is to talk about mental health in families. “My mother struggled with manic depression her entire life,” shares Akerman. “Growing up as a child with a depressed mother and not talking about it [or] understanding it was very confusing.”

There weren't as many resources or opportunities to talk openly and honestly about mental health back then, she explains. "I wish we had an open dialogue about it; I wish she had had the tools to talk about it back then," Akerman says. "We could have gone to someone and I would have had support. That's what I think stayed with me," she adds.

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Now Akerman and her mother can talk openly about mental health. “She’s working on it and it’s wonderful and there’s no stigma,” she explains. "But it was hard to break the ice between us and really talk about it and the impact it had on our relationship. We really came together and repaired each other."

Destigmatizing conversations about mental health issues gives people the opportunity to realize that they are not alone, and the value of this is huge for both adults and children. “We all want to be accepted by groups and be part of something – that’s humanity,” says Akerman. "When you start talking about mental health and someone else says, 'Oh, me too,' or 'my mom too,' then suddenly it's normal," she continues.

“You don’t feel like you’re outside,” Akerman adds. "You don't feel like there's anything wrong with you. It's part of the conversation; it's part of life, and there's nothing wrong with that," she says. "Because when anyone — kids or adults — feels like they're out there or not 'normal,' whatever that means, it's so hard," she adds, noting that she's "so happy" to see the stigma around mental health broken.

As a mother herself, Akerman has witnessed progress in society's normalization of mental health issues. "I have a boy and he is so full of emotions and talks about them openly and freely and it's so wonderful to see," she says. "I really hope that it's a sign that this next generation that we're raising, it's [benefiting from us] having conversations and asking them how they're feeling and that this will really change the way they grow up," she continues.

While things are improving, there are still barriers to mental health care for many. For those who live in places or communities where mental health is still a taboo topic, Akerman has some advice.

“Be brave enough to be radical,” she says. "Be the one to start the conversation. See what happens," she continues. “There are so many resources online, there are call centers, there are help centers,” she adds, sharing that the On Our Sleeves website is a great place to start.

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As for the advice Akerman himself follows? Take time to nurture your own mental health. For the actress, self-care practices are key to feeling good mentally and physically.

“I exercise and I meditate,” she tells Shape. "I always try to take at least 10 to 20 minutes a day for myself. Whatever that is. If I need to sit and stare at a wall for 20 minutes, then I do that. If I have to go, I'll have a cup of tea and just listen to music, that's great," says Akerman, advising others to do the same if they're able.

“You put it on your schedule and stick to it,” she suggests. “I realize if I don’t do it, I get pretty exhausted.”