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The psychological reason why they can mourn the death of a celebrity
When I learned that professional dancer and TV personality Stephen Boss (aka tWitch) had died, I felt my heart sink. I never knew Boss, but I witnessed his incredible talent and watched social media content featuring him and his family—including upbeat dance clips and more serious videos, such as a look at how white privilege manifests itself in daily life. Within hours of the news breaking, my social media feeds were filled with tributes to Boss. And it wasn't just people who knew him personally (like Ellen DeGeneres, who worked with Boss on her eponymous talk show,...
The psychological reason why they can mourn the death of a celebrity
When I learned that professional dancers and TV personality Stephen Boss (alias Twitch) died, I felt my heart sank. I never knew Boss, but I was a witness to his incredible talent and looked at social media content with him and his family-including happy dance clips and more serious videos, such as a look at how white privileges manifest themselves in everyday life.
Within hours of the news breaking, my social media feeds were filled with tributes to Boss. And it wasn't just people who knew him personally (like Ellen DeGeneres, who worked with Boss on her eponymous talk show, or other professional dancers) who expressed deep sorrow over his death. There were also people who only ever met him through the screen.
Grief about an undeniable tragic loss is expected. But especially in today's world, in which prominent fans often let their lives into their lives through social media, this sadness can turn into grief. If you are experiencing this right now, you are not alone and what you feel is valid.
Parasocial relationships with celebrities
Grief about someone they do not know personally can arise because people can build parasocial relationships with public life, according to Terri Bacow, Ph.D., a cognitive behavioral psychologist and author of Goodbye, Anxiety: A Guided Journal for Overcoming Worry.
"A parasocial relationship is a one -sided relationship," she explains. One person can build a parasocial relationship with a figure in the media, such as: B. a celebrity, a fictional figure or even a social media influencer. "Typically someone you do not know personally, but admire and with whom you can identify," added Bacow.
Parasocial relationships may seem strange, but are really normal
“Often people invest time and energy in their parasocial relationships, and it can be very upsetting when the person dies,” she says. “On a psychological level, the loss triggers empathy and compassion as well as loneliness.” For example, you will miss seeing a celebrity on TV, in movies, or on social media. “People often struggle with change, and when someone you have been ‘haunting’ dies, it can come as a shock and require a period of adjustment.”
The influence of social media on parasocial relationships
Some of the reasons why the losses of celebrities may be hit tougher these days is that people of public life have given people access to their lives through social media. For example, Boss and his wife Allison Holker shared so much content with their family. "[You] learn things [public figures] on a personal level, which makes the investment feel more intimate, and therefore it is even sad to learn that they have died," says Bacow.
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You may feel guilty grieving the loss of a person you never knew. You may feel like you have no right to be sad about their death, since others are clearly more directly affected by it than you are. But according to Bacow, you don't have to feel guilty about your grief.
"Remember that you are just a person and have feelings," she says. "It is a sign of being human to feel grief and feeling sad when someone dies who is important to you, even if you have not known it well. It simply means that you have compassion and have invested energy and care to admire the work or content of someone." She adds grief about the death of a celebrity if someone dies in a young age or unexpectedly.
Processing the cause of death of a celebrity
According to Bacow, the circumstances of Boss's death, which was reported reported by suicide, could make the processing of this special loss even more difficult for the public. "It can also be shocking that the fame suffered and was so desperate and [Seemingly] Nobody noticed it," she explains, names Robin Williams' death as another example of this situation. "I think it is difficult enough to mourn someone you like and admire, and even more difficult to process that the method was suicide. Maybe that could give you the feeling that you don't know them at all."
More and more people are using the 988 suicide and crisis hotline since it was switched from a 10-digit number
If you have difficulty processing Boss's death - or the loss of a celebrity or personality of public life - Bacow has advice. "Allow yourself to feel your feelings first," she says. "Ignore or not suppress them. It doesn't matter how well you knew the person or didn't know. It's fine to be sad," she continues.
“It can also be incredibly helpful to talk or write about your feelings,” suggests Bacow. "Share your dismay with other people who admire the public figure (or even with those who don't). It may be helpful to write a journal or even share a post that you miss the person."
Whatever you do, don't keep your emotions in bottles, she says. "However, if you find that you are excessively busy, it may be time to seek more professional support, e.g. to engage a therapist."
If you or someone you know needs help, please call 988 for Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or text 741741 or chat online at 988lifeline.org.