Why blasting Adele and Taylor Swift and Ugly Cry feels so damn good

Why blasting Adele and Taylor Swift and Ugly Cry feels so damn good

If you're on any form of social media, you may have noticed that when Taylor Swift released her album Red (Taylor's Version) on November 12th, some people posted photos or videos of themselves listening to the album and crying. In particular, the 10-minute version of "All Too Well" (you know, the one supposedly about Jake Gyllenhaal and the infamous scarf) had not just Swifties reaching for the tissues, but anyone who's ever been through a breakup. (

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And a week later, Instagram is still full of stories of people sobbing over the album - and clearly having a good time. Sometimes, when the song is just right, it feels so good, almost delicious, to just cry.

While it was Taylor who had people curling up on the couch last weekend reminiscing about past loves, she and the rest of her contemporaries are hardly the first musicians to scream a generation into a pillow with an album or a particular song — and loving every single minute of it. Such human behavior goes way back to the time of the Athenians, when philosophers first suggested that sad art, or art that evokes negative emotions, was far more rewarding to the brain than art that simply wasn't sad. Aristotle witnessed how heartbreaking theater was cathartic for audiences rather than a total downer. It may seem a little paradoxical, but tragedies satisfy people more than comedies.

The Science of a Music-Induced Scream

Research has found a few reasons why it feels so amazing to cry to your favorite sad girl songs.

A 2014 study of more than 700 people by a team in Berlin found that there are four specific rewards associated with experiencing sadness due to music: imagination reward, emotion regulation, empathy, and the lack of “real life” implications. The same study also found that sad music evokes feelings of nostalgia, an often "bittersweet emotion" that makes people feel a longing for the past despite the sadness that might be associated with it. (FYI, experiencing both positive and negative emotions is a good thing.)

While sadness may not be an emotion you actively seek out, the effect of sad music on your brain is enticing, enjoyable, and in some cases addictive. Yes, really: An August 2021 neuroimaging study examined which parts of the brain light up when listening to sad music, and while each brain's response is unique, the parts most affected are those concerned with reward processing, aesthetics, and emotions. When this reward circuit is activated, the brain essentially says to the rest of the body, "We like this and we want more of it" - the same way love and drugs affect you. (See: The Interesting Ways Crying Affects Your Skin)

That's not all: when you listen to sad music, the hormone prolactin is released in your body, which brings us joy in our sadness and comforts us. Prolactin is a hormone that is supposed to calm you down when you cry or are under stress. But unless you experience a traumatic event or cry from stress in real life, the result is, for lack of a better word, bliss. That's why it feels so damn good to belt out these lyrics, listen to songs over and over again and cry, cry, cry. As Santini explains, this creates “emotional excitement.” Adele's "Hello" on repeat for a few hours, anyone?

In addition, “sad songs stabilize the mood to a certain extent,” says Barbara Santini, psychologist and sex and relationship counselor. "Listening to sad songs is a way to express our situation and make people feel understood. People feel better when the words in a song connect to their experiences and convey similar emotions."

When you are sad and listen to sad music, you get comfort and reassurance that you are not alone. It is a healthy way to express emotions that is cathartic and even healing. In fact, the 2014 Berlin study found that while happy music can have a positive effect on you, people tend to get the most mood-boosting effects when they listen to sad music.

The dark side of music “therapy”

But as with anything, too much of something great can be bad. While moderation can be difficult once you've crawled into a Bon Iver hole, you still need to take a breath and finally face reality. If you don't, all that catharsis, mood stabilization, and wistful nostalgia can turn ugly.

“Using sad music as a maladaptive strategy to vent your emotions can worsen sad moods or depression,” says Santini. In other words, if you cry yourself to sleep every night while your sad song soundtrack plays in your AirPods, there could be something else there - perhaps some unresolved issues that need to be looked at further with the help of a professional.

According to a 2015 study, if sad song consumption is not regulated, “vulnerability to depression and anxiety” can follow. This happens because music is used as a distraction from the real problems someone might have in their life. It lends credence to the questions Nick Hornby had his protagonist Rob ask in High Fidelity: "Was I listening to pop music because I was unhappy? Or was I unhappy because I was listening to pop music?" It could go either way depending on how you use it. (Also read: Why do I cry for no reason?)

The tearful snack

There's nothing like falling in love with a song, album, or lyric that touches your heart so deeply that you can't help but scream, "OMG! That's me!" It's just great when you can relate to words that speak to you and have them wrapped in a melody that touches you so deeply. It's exhilarating and, as Santini put it, "emotionally arousing."

Although twirling around to Phoebe Bridgers with red wine in hand and tears on her cheek can go in a dark direction if left unregulated, for the most part it's all part of the human experience. So, grab the tissues, put Iron & Wine's "Trapeze Swinger" on repeat and lean in - in moderation, of course.